February 2012
40 posts
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It’s when I stop living with the greater picture that I feel like I’m everything that exists and I’m failing.
I’m still building my picture.
And it sucks that no one can get this. I’m the only one that can help me. I have to tell myself I can do it. And I’m literally the only one that can say that to me. I doubt everyone because they don’t know me....
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ethereal reality
I want to disappear and wake up clear
So that I may finally see what I’ve been missing outside of this narrative
people are throwing fire crackers at my house...
I stopped believing in him when he chose the dead over the living.
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CONTROL
just breathe control
it is pretty harsh to call someone you know a cunt, especially someone you’ve known for a good goddamn fraction of your little life. this energy is so frustrating, it’s like being condemned without a trial. it’s fucking stupid. as words materialize out of my mind, they lose half their meaning. and they continue to deteriorate as I speak them. so what does it...
impression
bitches and theys earrings gonna get it always more confident in groups their voices pile against mine like it means something like when they dissolve will it make a difference?
the like rotund balance cans on their palms t-shirts swishing in their modest fashion they waddle with courage in their tennis shoes and smile without passion
it’s like giving homeless people candy to blow cocaine in their faces.
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totes magotes
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That dank smell in the castle of the Dueling Dragons roller coaster… is in my house right now. If anyone gets what I mean.
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this is everything and nothing this post is I feel like getting faded and walking I might make a new job
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displacement
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feeling a tear turn cold, the resurgence of warmth; the temptation to console a weakened spirit
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what do you seek to imitate?
I think the words “imitate” and “pretend” are used invaluably these days.
they seem very similar, they both represent actions of following or copying, but one is learned while the other is purely hypothetical.
often we can only pretend through the source of imitation. otherwise, how could we know how to pretend?
and it makes me wander...
Anna’s dog, Nanook, carried some food in his mouth from the kitchen to next to me in the living room. He ate the food pebbles and then immediately licked my leg, my coffee cup and my hand reaching for the cup. He’s cool though, he’s got one brown eye and one blue eye. It’s a wonder to look at them.
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“If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t.”
– Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
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what does this mean
McDonald’s has this commercial playing on the radio that comments on “African American achievement” and that makes me think of McDonald’s as a room of old white guys, and they stand and applaud for that black man for getting so far! You’re doing good guys, you’ve overcome our antics, thank you for your patience.
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cool story bro
I went to Save-a-lot for the first time. I didn’t realize they don’t use plastic bags. That’s cool though, I got some additional exercise making the dozen trips to the car.
I don’t like American politics because not everyone is thought of as “an American” because when there are poll statistics, there are statistics of ethnicities.
grotesque
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I could only hear the electronics’ frequencies in the silence, so I plugged in the radio and hoped for something good. They know. Drake was playing and I agreed with that.
microwave dried spaghetti noodles.
note to self: always rinse cereal bowls, otherwise there will be concrete corn flakes. I know this. but I never knew the full pain until I had to scrub three bowls worth.
January 2012
90 posts
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I FINISHED THE FIRST PAPER OF THE SEMESTER. God can fuck it, it’s that good.
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Lost Boys has some really awful music playing toward the end of the credits. It sounds like every song I dislike on classic radio.
I got my AA certificate… alright. I got all my music with me… alright. I took a nice nap… alright.
“Some foods labeled as “no preservatives” or “no preservatives added” actually contain BHT that was present in the ingredients used to make the product but which does not require disclosure on the label.”
It’s everywhere. Oh’s cereal, which crushes me! because Oh’s are so good. It’s in Dollar General cheese crackers and Cheez Its. It can...
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